How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
