i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
