I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Im part way to drunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize