And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
