so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
