super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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