he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
