East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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