The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
