My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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