if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
