this boner is exhausting
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
