My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize