I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
