He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
