im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize