My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
