That's intense
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
