You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize