i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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