I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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