he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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