Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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