I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
