I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
