i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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