I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
