I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
