so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
