You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
