Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
