just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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