Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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