Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
