operation harelip BJ is a go
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
