I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
