it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I will be naked everywhere
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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