Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
