you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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