I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
