he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
