Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
