You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
