omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dear god my vagina.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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