Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
