it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
