The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
