a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
