why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
