Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
