God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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