Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
