New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
