my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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