No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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