i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I could make wine with my vomit
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
