Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
