I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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