I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
