you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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