Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
