i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
