i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize