i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
