i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
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