She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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