Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
