a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
